Today is a very exciting day. For the last half-dozen years, we have been working to develop a new kind of online experience: one that combines the digital freedom of the web with the analog pleasure of luxuriating in a patch of sunlight on your living room floor.
We’ve been building an innovative platform — one that you can sit on and survey your domain; tenderly rub up against; or scratch fervently, as if trying to claw the eyes out of the human who refuses to put more food in your bowl. It’s a place to hide when people come over, and a way to connect with other feral, potentially rabid strays. It’s the home for your cat videos. It’s called Vimeow.
The company formerly known as Vimeo has not been one to pounce on Internet trends. The Hula Hoop, for example — not for us. But it cannot be denied that cat videos, with their unforgettable characters and riveting plot lines, are here to stay. If you recall, the world’s first cat video was actually not a video at all — it was a cave painting of a bold Paleozoic tabby confronting an angry mastodon. The tabby stares at the mastodon in resolute boredom, as if the mastodon couldn’t just stab it to death with one of its gigantic tusk things. It’s that kind of creative confidence that we hope Vimeow will instill in our creators.
With that in mind, we are unveiling the first look at our new felis catus-centric service. Here are just some of the thrilling features:
Room for all your cat videos
Think of Vimeow as a small, cramped house with a lot of stuff in it, and a weird smell, and there are already a bunch of cats living there, but you can keep taking in more and more cats, because, well, they each have their own unique personality and, to be totally honest, you’re kind of lonely.
Following is now called Patiently Stalking
Keep a close eye on your favorite cat video creators and wait for the perfect moment to start watching.
The Forum is now called The Litterbox
All the functionality you’ve come to love, with better absorbency and a more neutral odor. Dig in!
Add aloofness to any video
Make it more like your favorite indifferent feline.
Your mouse is now an actual mouse
Chase it around your computer screen or let it live another day — it’s up to you!
And that’s just the beginning. Soon, we’ll introduce Tummyrub, which enables you to show your appreciation for any cat video. And stay tuned for Vimeow Purrks, a virtual e-program that gives you all the benefits of actual cat ownership, including the ability to freak out when you can’t find someone to come over and check on your precious Chairman Meow when you go away for the weekend. It’s not like they have to feed or even pet him — just make sure he didn’t get into the microwave again!!!